I thought that, in my old age, I would finally find peace with my family.

After my husband died, I left our old brick and mud house and moved to the city to live with my only son, Daniel , and his wife,  Olivia .

At first, I thought I would be happy.
Daniel was the director of a large company and lived in a luxurious apartment in the heart of São Paulo.
Everything glittered: the lights, the furniture, the smiles…
But I soon discovered that behind that glitter was  a coldness  that didn’t come from the weather, but from his soul.

We almost never had dinner together at night.

—Daniel, aren’t you coming to have dinner with us? —I asked, carefully serving the rice.

He just looked at his watch.
“I have work to do, Mom. You eat.”

Olivia looked down.
“Just a little bit, love… the soup is still hot…” she whispered.

“I said I’m not hungry! Stop it!” Daniel shouted, banging his spoon on the table.

My heart stopped.
That look—cold, hard—was the same one my husband had before… before he hurt me.

Olivia remained silent, forcing a smile.
“Don’t worry, Mom… he’s just tired, that’s all.”

But I saw the truth.
On her wrist was  a deep, fresh, purple mark .

I couldn’t sleep that night.
At three in the morning, I was woken up by the sound of running water in the bathroom.

I frowned.
“Why is Daniel taking a bath at this hour?” I thought.

But the sound wasn’t continuous… it was mixed with something else.
Cries? Moans?

I approached slowly. The bathroom door was ajar, and a yellowish light filtered through the crack.
I held my breath and peered through the opening.

What I saw almost made me faint.

Daniel wasn’t alone.
Olivia sat on the floor , soaked, trembling, her tears mingling with the water.
Daniel, kneeling before her,  washed his hands desperately , repeating over and over,
“I swear… I didn’t mean to… I didn’t mean to…”

The blood mixed with the water and disappeared down the drain.

I yelled.
“Daniel! What did you do?”

He raised his head, pale as marble.
“Mom… it was an accident… I lost control…”

I ran to Olivia. Her arm had a deep cut, but she was still breathing.
With trembling hands, I called an ambulance.

Those minutes seemed like an eternity.
Daniel was crying, begging for forgiveness, saying that he wasn’t himself anymore, that work, alcohol, and anger had consumed him.

Olivia survived.
Daniel was arrested that same night.

The apartment, once filled with luxury and prestige, became a  tomb of silence and guilt .

And I… every time I wake up at three in the morning and hear the sound of water or rain against the window, I remember that night:
the water, the crying, the blood.

And I ask myself:
At what point did my son stop being the sweet child I raised, and become a man lost in his own darkness?

Even with a broken heart, I still pray every night…
that God will forgive him,
and that no mother will ever have to see what I saw that morning.